Yesterday, after my acting class (in the Hfac, so therefore, I should have expected the following situation to occur because that building--the Harris Fine Arts Center-- is where all of us freaky art people migrate to...) I went to the bathroom, a usual occurrence due to my over obsession with water drinking, and was silently eating an apple in my stall when I hear a young lady say "Gosh... you'd think people would know not to explode all over the toilet seat". She had been in there before I entered, so I figured she was simply on the phone. A weird thing to say on the phone, nonetheless. BUT then she KNOCKED on my stall wall and said "I'm talking to you in there". I about choked on my apple. Rule Number 1: No talking to people in the stall next to you. It's. Just Weird. And. Completely. Not. Ok. I answered in as normal tone as I could saying "Yeah... people... man... their... gross..." to which she responded "Oh this isn't even bad! I used to be a janitor and, geez... Men especially. They are way worse than girls..." She continued to tell me some awful horror stories about cleaning bathrooms that I had no desire to hear. I was washing my hands at this point, wanting to leave as fast as I could. She continued to ask questions while she still did her business in the stall.
I made it out alive, if you were concerned.
I believe there are rules for the bathrooms.
Rule number one is listed above.
Rule Number 2: Never study in the bathroom! At BYU there are couches for women to breast-feed on and such. THEY ARE NOT FOR STUDYING. There are few things worse than going to the bathroom, knowing that someone is listening quietly while they study Statistics. NOT. OK.
Rule Number 3: Spraying perfume is completely awful. The bathroom is all ready small enough, and by the time all the girls have sprayed their favorite all-the-guys-will-want-me-when-they-smell-me perfume it turns into a big aroma of fake. Please, leave the bathroom alone.
Rule Number 4: Modeling for yourself in the mirror. Everyone can see you! Don't suck in and stand up straight to see what you look like, because you dont' suck in all the time. We are all guilty of this, let's just stop the madness and get on with our lives rather than wasting 2 minutes to make sure we look good... when we suck in and grow 2 inches, that is.
Going to the bathroom is a good time. Let's keep it that way, shall we?
13 comments:
Oh, Bailee. So true.
Bay, this is pretty great. It made me laugh at a really boring day at work!!
Bailee you are wise beyond your years. I think you should write a curriculum: Bathroom Etiquette 101/Why Can't We All Just Get Along. It is really needed in this world.
Rule #4: do not eat apples while going to the bathroom
only at BYU... geez, you zoobies
Amen sister!
Dang - Mallory beat me. YES, to THAT rule. Eating in the bathroom is just as gross. But I love you anyway.
I'm sorry but that is weird that you were eating an apple in the stall while going to the bathroom...? And this is weird coming from you who has the worst AT HOME bathroom etiquette. I understand that public restrooms are way different though, and agree with all of your rules except for checking yourself out in the mirror because I can't help it. Keep up the blog I miss Bivvy.
This made me laugh to hard. Loved it!
AAAAAACKKKK! Thank you for a GREAT laugh!!! So true, all rules listed, SO, SO TRUE!!! People are so bizarre, I mean really, WHO wants to just chat it up with strangers while doing their business. I like to pretend there is an invisibility shield and noone can see or hear me in the stall having tummy trauma. UGH!
Oh dangit! This is Allyson, I keep forgetting that I'm logged in as Porter here. Lest you thought it totally bizarre that Porter was suddenly ringing in on your blog.
seriously, I want everyone in the world to know about your blog because it is hilarious and then you can be famous for your blog, amoung other things of course... I just love it so. dang. much.
Dear Bailee...THIS is why I freaking LOVE you so much! I love following your blog...even though I see you all the time now. HAHA Love your guts!
I was dying laughing at work! Thank you for setting us all straight!
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